Elaine to Gary and David Re: Defending the Efficacy of
Healthy Self-Esteem Self Esteem 16
Appreciated receiving the current draft on the
Self-esteem article. Certainly well-written and pretty comprehensive, but
where was the "verbiage on shame?" Did I miss something?
I think this sensible statement did effectively dispel the idea that there
could be any value in defining self-esteem as Emlier and Slater did. I really
didn't know what to expect of the article; I take it your
"inside-out" view hasn't been assimilated into this ongoing work.
As far as this article went, my views were best
represented by the phrases, "being worthy of happiness" (Branden),
"trusting ourselves," (p.2) and believing that "we are all
deseving of respect, nurturance and happiness." (p.3) Coopersmith's
findings that "creating family standards of behavior that are
clearly defined and consistently enforced, providing unconditional love and
respect, and having high expectations were leading factors in developing high
self-esteem" (p.4) are certainly related to the broad
definition that was put forth, but I preferred his words from that same
book that
"Parents (of children with hi
self-esteem) are most concerned and accepting of their children and
least likely to be severe in their punishment. They may insist on running a
tight ship, but they appear merkedly different from parents who are
authoritative in practice and character structure." (my emphasis) The difference lies in placing more emphasis on
the child than on parental expectations.
The basic beliefs that I feel must be present in
any discussion of self-esteem are partially summed up on page 2 when Comenius
is cited with the follow-up "We affirm this faithful view of
humanity, and believe that through love and nurturance we are all innately
inclined to becoming more life-affirming, constructive, responsible and
trustworthy," and the closing statement, "And for
those who dare, it invites us to examine our most basic beliefs about our
essential human nature." And that takes us right back to
David's more cogent and concise definition: human
nature free from the self-disesteeming psychological reflexes we learn to
modulate our negative-to-self, feelings and thoughts.
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